Men Suffer Depression During Divorce

A recent article from about.com states that men suffer from depression during a divorce more than women do.  Click here for the article.

I agree with this article.  The problem is that depression has such a stigma to it.  Men don't want to appear anything less than strong.  Everyone struggles with divorce, no matter how easy it is to sign the papers, and even if there are no children involved.  

Why do I say this?  Because divorce means you have failed, in some way, as a partner, a lover, a friend, or as a parent.  And, no one accepts failure or defeat in relationships easily.  It simply is not in our nature.  And, if it were so easy to admit and accept failure or defeat, we wouldn't have the overwhelming popularity of reality tv shows pitting lover against lover, parent against parent, man against woman, human against human.

I always advise anyone going through a divorce to talk with a professional counselor or therapist (same thing, just different word).  It's tough to admit that we failed at being married.  And, don't think that going to a counselor will diminish your chances for custody.  

The rule in Illinois for custody in acting in your children's best interests.  Certainly we can agree that going to a doctor or therapist for a mental health check-up is far better for your children than sitting alone, in the dark, crying your eyes out.  Or, for men, getting into fights, and yelling at everyone.

So, go on, be a man!  Go to the psychiatrist or therapist, and get some advice on how to be a better person, a better partner, and a better father.  What's the worst that can happen?  The psychiatrist could tell you that you're a little depressed, and need to take a pill once a day, so that you can be your old self again.  Or, worse yet, the doctor could tell you that you're great, you're doing a great job as a parent, and it's your ex-partner who lost out on the best thing she ever had.

Your children look up to you.  Teach them that seeking help in times of need is a sign of strength, not weakness.  Teach them to love themselves as much you do.

Call today to find out how the Gosteli Law Firm can help you resolve your Illinois custody and visitation issues.